It is undeniable that God views marriage as a sacred and elevated relationship!
But God's wonderful work of creation was not completed until He also created the woman. “And the Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper to suit him. ” Genesis 2:18. A helper, a partner, your equal, someone to share your innermost thoughts and return your unconditional love! When God brought the woman to Adam, his joy was complete and he said, "This is now, at last, bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." Genesis 2:23.
After this declaration of love, we read: "Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
Jesus himself quotes this verse in Matthew 19:5 and adds: “Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has united, let not man separate”. The Apostle Paul again refers to the same verse, stating that the marriage relationship is the image of the "great mystery", Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32) and goes even further in 1 Corinthians 6:17 "Or not you do you know, whoever clings to a prostitute is one body with her?" verse 18: Flee from fornication!
Genesis 24:67 "Then Isaac brought her into the tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her." Without any wedding ceremony, without party, marriage is consummated through sexual intercourse. This means that any sexual relationship is an act of marriage, whether it is a marriage or a marriage vow. So there is no such thing as free sex. If a boy or a girl have sex, that is, according to Genesis 24:67, MARRIAGE!!!
In short: Love and respect! Namely:
When it comes to tips and techniques, new research is beginning to uncover the power that Ephesians 4:32 has heralded for nearly two thousand years. For the past four decades, psychologist John Gottman has studied couples — and also the "tops" and "failures," as he calls them. What is the difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage? If Gottman had to sum it up in one word, it would be 'goodness'.
Gottman and his wife noticed the regular "requests for attention" couples make to each other every day - call them "requests." These are the encounters we have when we sit in the car, take a walk, or eat together. Each order offers the opportunity to “make the call, even for a short period of time”. Spouses can respond to these "orders" of emotional connection by "turning toward each other" or "moving away from each other."
People who turned to their research partners responded to the request by showing interest and encouraging the request. Those who did not - those who turned away from each other - barely reacted, if at all, and went on with what they were doing, like watching television or reading the newspaper. Sometimes they would also react with outright disgust, for example saying something like 'Do not interrupt me, I am reading' or 'I am tired, I have a headache, etc.'
On the other hand, respect them when the other is tired. When a man comes home tired after an eight-hour workday and traveling (2 hours) to work, he wants peace and probably not a woman who overwhelms him with the day's experiences. Let him calm down and then you can talk.
But how can we cultivate kindness if there is no simple power button? The Gottmans' advice continues. They recommend ways to practice kindness: "Be generous with your partner's intentions" or "connect with the other's good news" ("pursuing shared joy").
What is missing is a path to internal recreation. How can a cruel heart change?
Where secular inquiry ends, God comes with more than just "being kind." Ephesians 4:32 does not leave us with the behavioral level. Are kind words and actions essential? Absolute. But what do they assume? Not out of sheer willpower, but out of a tender heart.
God created the sexual relationship between a married man and his wife. Only after marriage, the first sexual intercourse does occur. And this first contact, "the first time", is important. The divorce rate is higher among those who had sex before marriage. This also makes sense. It is not just about having sex before marriage, it is all about self-control. People who know how to control themselves have a much smaller chance of getting divorced, not least because the Lord God hates divorce. Marriage between a man and a woman is not easy. The man has different interests from his wife, they both have different feelings. Raising children sometimes requires a lot of self-control and Holy Spirit control. The Bible does not say for nothing that both must be on the same level (spiritual life). If one is a young believer (still growing under the control of the Holy Spirit) and the other a mature believer (completely under the control of the Holy Spirit), it causes all kinds of tensions and requires enormous self-control.
But now "for the first time". My first time was a great frustration, not having been brought up by my parents. Not even my wife was aware of this. I did not know where to put my penis and the deflowering was accompanied by a lot of blood loss, which came as a shock to both of us. One deflower is not the other. For one thing, it is easy, sometimes without blood loss. In the other, the hymen is more rigid and the man needs time and patience to break it. Light bleeding is normal. At Jewish weddings, the sheet with the blood of virginity is shown to the guests.
After deflowering, gently slide deeper into the vagina until you are completely inside. Sometimes this does not work the first time. Do not worry about it, it will be fine. Now you can decide for yourself whether the man will move his penis back and forth. This can cause rapid ejaculation, after which the penis becomes flaccid. As a result, the woman remains without an orgasm. So, do not be in a hurry, move the penis slowly and occasionally. You will notice your wife getting turned on and reaching orgasm (muscle contraction comes). Then you can have your ejaculation. But sometimes it does not work the first time. It is a matter of practice. After the penis is flaccid and comes out of the vagina, continue to lie in each other's arms, kissing and caressing each other. Build your relationship.
The Lord God does not say in vain in Genesis 2:24 that man and woman become ONE. This is a very rich experience, the experience of becoming/being one and also experiencing that you are also "one" with the Lord God, that the Lord God is present in your sexual relationship.
Proverbs is very true, the mouth can speak destructive words. Never say negative words, not even as a joke. Do not be critical. Speak words of encouragement. Build each other up. Have the same opinion, never contradict each other, have the same opinion with your children. Show your kids that you agree. Even if you disagree with your partner, do not correct it in front of your kids. Talk to each other when the two of you are together alone.
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience," Colossenses 3:12.
God calls us not just to kind behavior and words, but to a certain heart: a kind heart, a tender heart - what Colossians 3:12 calls a "compassionate feeling of compassion." God does not want us to just have kind behavior, but to come from our heart.
The word for "affectionate" in Ephesians 4:32 occurs twice in the New Testament. The other place is 1 Peter 3:8-9: “Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing.”.
This is another wonderful passage about marriage that is not just about marriage, but about the whole Christian life. To reverse it, according to Gottmans, the most common problem in "failed" marriages is contempt. And contempt comes from the heart. Behind the rude, or "vile" (to speak of a common marriage complaint) behavior is a feeling of deep frustration and modest anger called contempt. A "loving heart," however, is the opposite of this mutual inner hardening. Contempt breeds pettiness, but a "kind heart" or a "compassionate heart" breeds genuine kindness.
Ask yourself if your heart attitude toward your spouse is one of compassion or frustration.
Marriage, in this age, is always a marriage to another sinner. In any case, acknowledging, confessing, and forgiving sins is a normal part of any good marriage. Expect to find an unforgivable act behind a heart of marital contempt.
Forgiveness is not the same as trust. Marriage is the most intimate of human relationships and therefore has an explosive potential for infidelity and emotional harm. The call to forgive is not a call to feign trust. Sin has consequences; trust can be quickly lost and slowly restored. But for a Christian, there is never any reason to refuse forgiveness. But incest, adultery, sexual immortality has consequences: divorce or prison.
No human being, not even our husband/wife, has harmed us as much as we have harmed God. And when we bear the name of Christ, we affirm that He has forgiven us.
Part of what it means to me to be the head of our marriage as a husband is that God is calling me to go ahead and be the first to apologize. I cannot remember a single instance in the last 15 years where the conflict was entirely her fault. In our fights, tensions and arguments, we were not always equally guilty, but we were imperfect and sinful in some ways. I always find it hard to identify and admit something. My calling as a husband is not to save my image, but to be the first to be embarrassed.
What makes the vision in Ephesians 4:32 so essentially Christian are the last six words: "As God in Christ also forgave you." It all starts with our Father's heart and His acts of forgiveness for us. Kindness to one another begins with God's kindness to us in Christ. God forgave me so I can forgive her now. Therefore, my heart can be affectionate and compassionate - not just in general, but especially towards her. Therefore, I can behave with kindness.
Ultimately, it is God's goodness that can melt an unforgivable heart, soften a hard heart, and change cruel behavior.
What we need most is to be Christians to one another. And the most decisive is kindness. It is better for me to be told to be kind to my wife than to hear her submissive to me. It is because of the extent to which God has been good to me.
In the Old Testament (Lev. 18) are prohibited:
Forbidden is sexual intercourse and therefore marriage of a man with:
sister or half sister
granddaughter, daughter of son or daughter
the aunt, on the part of both the father and the mother
uncle's wife on the paternal side
the sister in law
a woman and her daughter or with her mother and granddaughter.
Polygamy is the simultaneous marriage of a man with two or more wives at the same time (polygamy) or vice versa (polygamy). The opposite is monogamy. By God's standards, marriage is the union of one man and one woman. In the Old Testament, polygamy as such is not prohibited, but in the New Testament God's pattern of monogamy (the marriage of one man to one woman) is clearly visible. Look at Father Abraham, King David, and King Solomon, what misery polygamy has brought.
What does the Bible say about mixed marriages where one person is a believer and the other is not?
The Old Testament law forbade the Israelites such lifetime unions (Deuteronomy 7: 3-4). The scribe and priest Ezra was shocked to learn that many returned Israelites had married Gentile women. He recalls the ban on mixed marriages:
Ezra 9:12 ... thou shalt not give thy daughters to their sons, neither shalt thou take their daughters in marriage for thy sons.
The reason for this was that the Israelites would be turned away from God if they married Gentiles or people who worshiped idols and had abominable customs.
As a Christian, you can start dating someone who is also a Christian. It is FORBIDDEN to start dating with an unbeliever AND with whom you form an unequal COUPLE. In this sermon, Wilfred will explain this in more detail.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
An unbeliever is one who does NOT recognize Jesus Christ as the Son of God, does NOT recognize that Jesus Christ is God (the Trinity), does not recognize that he is a sinner, and without bloodshed there is no forgiveness. Does not recognize Jesus Christ as personal Savior. He thinks he can accomplish his redemption in his own strength and thus be delivered from the wrath and punishment of God.
Founder: Joseph Smith (1805 - 1844). According to Mormons, he was visited by an angel Moroni in 1823. Moroni reported that there were gold plates written near a hill. "With God's help," these plates were translated by Joseph in 1827 and became the Book of Mormon. Anyone who makes a small study of the beliefs of the 'Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' will find that the focus of a number of things (salvation, apostasy, obedience, faithfulness) is not on the Lord Jesus, but on the church or church leaders. For example, one of Brigham Young's teachings says that the gospel of Jesus Christ includes a system of laws and ordinances that lead to salvation. You can only enter the Mormon Temple if you first put on special underwear and a white robe. "This is sacred underwear, which you can only buy in sets at various Mormon temples. You must also take a vow there that you will always wear this sacred underwear, which is a sign of holiness but will also protect your body from evil." Several sources have shown that sacred underwear bears signs of Freemasonry: a compass and a square.
Jehovah's Witnesses use their own translation of the Bible. This translation of the Bible is called the New World Translation. According to Jehovah's Witnesses, Jesus is not equal to God. They assume that Jesus was created by God. Therefore, in their eyes, Jesus is a creature and not God. According to Jehovah's Witnesses, there is only one God. The Holy Spirit is a power. According to Jehovah's Witnesses, the doctrine of the Trinity is a mistake.
The Bible is very clear about another gospel as described above and brought by an angel (logically not an angel of God, but a deceiving fallen angel), Galatians 1:8-9
But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to that which we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again, If any one is preaching to you a gospel contrary to that which you received, let him be accursed.
This is strong and clear language that cannot be interpreted in any other way.
A person must be judged on his faith, character and walk (behavior). The standard for a Christian man or woman to choose a mate should always be to find out if the person they are interested in is also a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14), someone who has been born again by faith in Jesus Christ (John 3:3-5). Faith in Christ is the main criterion for choosing a husband or wife.
Yes, my personal opinion is that the boy or man, as well as the girl or woman, should not have had sex before marriage IF they want to serve Jesus Christ, for example, as a pastor, evangelist, missionary, elder, etc. , the Bible says in Leviticus 21:13-14:
And he shall take a wife in her virginity. A widow, or one divorced, or a woman who has been defiled, or a harlot, these he shall not marry; but he shall take to wife a virgin of his own people.
An Old Testament priest SERVED GOD in the tabernacle and later in the temple. The believer who desires to serve God is a PRIEST WHO SERVES GOD. There should be no openings for satan and demons and unbelieving accusations of him/her saying to remain a virgin until marriage, but he/she was not either. For others who do not intend to serve God, may they remain virgins, but chances are that sexual intercourse took place before ACCEPTING JESUS rather than after conversion. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
Is this right? This command begins in Genesis 2:24, 4,000 years before the response of the VIRGIN Mary (although already bride/promised) in Luke 1:34 Mary asked the angel: "How shall this be, since I am virgin?"
Mary and Joseph, they both respect this 4000 year command. How can we say just 2,000 years after Mary that this command is no longer our time?
But I have a stronger proof of Ezekiel 44:9 "Thus saith the Sovereign Lord" and follow the Lord's commandments with verse 22: "They shall not marry a widow, or a divorced woman, but only a virgin of the stock of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest." This commandment applies to future priests who will serve God in the future temple in the Great Tribulation. This is future, so valid for NOW.
According to 1 Peter 2:9, the believer is, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people" Therefore, the believer must respect all the commandments about the Old Testament priest.
Okay, now I am going to say something PERSONAL. The girl or man had sex while she or he was still an unbeliever. And now? My personal opinion is that being a virgin was for the priests and therefore an advice for the common people (see Mary and Joseph, they respected this commandment) and for the Levites, the helpers of the priests. Wanting a believing virgin (boy or girl) to marry a non-virgin (girl or boy), so I guess that should not be a problem. HOWEVER, this IS NOT POSSIBLE if he and/or they wish to serve the Lord Jesus Christ, that is, to fulfill a priestly office. Both must be VIRGINS, see 1 Tim. 3:2, 12.
But the girl was raped, there was incest, she lost her virginity through no fault of her own. Listen, there are many ways to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. Listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying. Nicky Cruz became a great evangelist, unlike when the gang leader deflowered many girls. But these are EXCEPTIONAL CASES!
Fornication, adultery and incest were severe punishments under the Old Covenant, Deut. 22:13 v. Because adultery, transgressing another's wife, was death by stoning, Lev. 20:10, Deut. 22:22. If a man suspected that his wife was unfaithful, he could tell her, in Num. 5:12 v. He described the matters of God's judgment. Against the false accusation of the jealous husband, the wife was protected by law, Deut. 22:13.
A helpful article on sex in marriage, what is and is not allowed, and sexual sin can be found on the following site: CHRISTIAN SEX EDUCATION MARRIAGE
In case of divorce, the marriage is dissolved. Divorce, Deut. 24: 1, because of the hardness of heart allowed by the Pharisees, Matthew 19: 8, was complicated by many regulations, Deut. 24:1-4. But the Lord Jesus teaches us that what God has joined must not be separated by man (Mt 19: 9).
If a partner has (had) a sexual relationship with someone other than their marital partner, that person has dissolved the marriage. That is, he or she committed adultery (dissolvement from marriage).
Already in the Old Testament, marriage is associated with God. The prophet Hosea is the first to compare God to a faithful husband. As befits a prophet, he likes to make a sign. He speaks of his adulterous wife and his loyalty to her despite everything. To say that God is just like that: He remains faithful to His people, though she always follow other gods.
God is not so much the reason why spouses in a Christian marriage stay together, but the source of their abiding love for one another.
Does it seem difficult to make a decision one day for the rest of your life? In Christian marriage, you trust that you can take the step toward irrevocable faithfulness, because God is with you. In the sacrament of marriage, Christians believe, God supports his partners in their perilous path.
From the relationship between husband and wife come children who perpetuate a society's culture, beliefs and values. A stable relationship also provides a safe place where children can grow up and learn to take responsibility for others and, in turn, form loving relationships. Divorce has an extremely negative impact on children.
But what about drug addiction, alcohol abuse, assault, beatings?
So it is better for the partner to leave home (with the kids) and live in a secret place, with no official divorce and no remarriage. After all, adultery does not occur as Jesus puts it as a condition.
What happens if one partner accepts Jesus as Savior and the other does not? See what the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:10-17.
A worldly marriage is a marriage between two people according to the standards of local authorities and sometimes where fidelity is not taken very seriously. You see sex with multiple partners. There are many divorces. Love cools off after years of marriage. Everyone lives their own life sometimes. A life without God.
Christian marriage is a marriage of man and woman AND GOD.
There is no marriage without a proposal, of course. Until the 1960s, young people with marriage plans had to first inform their parents. Then the future fiancé visited the girl's father to explain how he felt about his daughter and to ask his permission to marry. In the past, the man used to send a letter before his visit, in which he asked in writing if he could get to know his daughter better. If the father agreed with the proposal, the groom received a cigar and drank with the family at the engagement. Just then the groom asked the girl the big question. It was customary for the bride not to respond immediately: she should think carefully about the request before accepting it. If, after a few days of deliberation, she answered yes, the boy's parents would visit the girl to get to know each other. In the meantime, we mostly know from the movies the image of the groom who kneels down to propose a wedding and gives the bride an engagement ring. Today, everything can be a little more special. Many wedding lovers prefer to make their proposal as original as possible. A message on the beach, a hidden ring in a dessert or a proposal during a parachute jump are no longer exceptional. In today's society it is no longer strange for a woman to marry her lover, but until the 1970s it was different. However, there is one day a woman can beat for centuries: February 29th. This 'win' day is seen as a day when normal rules no longer apply and conventions are dropped.
A number of rules have long been established for those who want to marry before the law. For example, a married couple must register their marriage a maximum of 6 months and a minimum of 14 days before the wedding day. During this period, anyone who wants to oppose the marriage can. Of course you cannot just do that and this resistance must be well motivated. Depending upon the counrty, the wedding ceremony itself is performed by the mayor or registrar of births, marriages and deaths. In the past, this could only be done in the city hall, but recently it is allowed everywhere, as long as the chosen location is somewhat neutral. In the case of a civil marriage, a series of articles of the Civil Code on the rights and obligations of spouses are read first. Later, couples are asked whether they become spouses. After an affirmative response from the couple, the duty officer declares the couple married in the name of the law. Then, the marriage certificate is drawn up. This is recorded in the marital status records and serves as official proof of the marriage ceremony. The bride and groom each brought a witness to sign the deed. Newlyweds themselves receive a marriage certificate.
The bridal procession that accompanies the bridal couple to the altar during the ecclesiastical wedding ceremony is commonly referred to as 'the suite'. It does not matter how the bridal procession enters and leaves the church: a fixed protocol has been followed for a long time. Relatives, friends and acquaintances take place at the church before mass begins. They rise when the bridal procession enters. First, the groom enters the church, holding his mother by the left arm. He guides her to her seat and stands in front of her chair. Then the bride's mother enters, through the left arm of the groom's father. He also takes the lady to her place and then sits down next to her. Then come the witnesses, grandparents and siblings with their partner. The bride enters the church last, through her father's right arm. They are preceded or followed by the bridesmaids.
The absolute highlight of a wedding is, of course, the exchange of rings. We call the fourth finger, the ring finger because it is the finger around which the wedding band is worn. The Greeks thought that a special vein or nerve in that finger went straight to the heart. The wearing of a ring would have originated from the Egyptians, for whom the ring symbolized indissolubility and infinity, or therefore eternal fidelity. Other folklorists believe that the ring symbolizes male dominance and therefore indicates that the woman belongs to her husband after marriage. Still others see in it a sexual meaning, with the ring symbolizing the woman and the finger symbolizing the man. Most people choose gold or silver wedding rings. With the Romans, the ring was usually made of iron, because of the metal's symbolic strength. A diamond is often incorporated into wedding rings. The name diamond is derived from the Greek word for "invincible" and that's exactly what a wedding should be. For a long time, only women wore wedding rings. Only in the 20th century men began to wear a wedding ring and the wedding ring is a symbol of equality between men and women. There are many superstitions associated with wearing a wedding band. For example, a woman who loses her wedding ring would soon lose her husband if he did not buy her a new one right away. He must remember to say the promise again when he slips the ring onto his finger. If one of the partners died, the ring could not go to the grave, because that would also draw the other to death. A broken alliance is also a bad sign, as husband and wife would soon die.
When leaving the church, it was customary for friends and acquaintances to throw rice at the newlyweds, a tradition that came from the East. Rice is a symbol of fertility and wealth: it expresses the hope that the new couple will have many children and that they will not be lacking in their lives. Other grains were sometimes used instead of rice. Nowadays, throwing rice in many churches and town halls is prohibited, as it is not good for the birds. Instead, flower petals are sprayed or bubbles explode. It is also very common to release two or more white wedding pigeons at the same time. These animals symbolize love and loyalty.
At a wedding party, there is usually plenty of food and drink. We owe this in large part to the ancient Germans, who ate and drank to death during a wedding meal to put the gods on their side. The wedding meal must therefore be seen as a kind of sacrifice. The most important part of the menu is, of course, the wedding cake. Wedding cakes nowadays come in all possible sizes, colors and shapes. This tradition is also originally a reference to fertility. A well-grown wedding cake would lead to a happy marriage. In the past, the bride received wedding cakes as a gift from guests. Tradition dictated that after the ceremony, pieces of cake were brought to the absentees so that they could share in the marital bliss. These practices are absent today. Now the wedding cake is a showcase during the evening party. The multi-story wedding cake is an American phenomenon par excellence that has only been introduced here in the last few decades.
Honeymoon is the name given to the period of 6 weeks after the wedding, during which the couple was not allowed to be disturbed by family members or representatives. In this way, the bride and groom can get to know each other - both mentally and physically - in peace. During their honeymoon, the couple were allowed to take it easy before normal life resumed. Newlyweds ate white bread these weeks, a luxury product that not everyone could afford. In English, this period is called 'honeymoon'. During the honeymoon, the couple usually go on their honeymoon. The honeymoon is also something that dates back to the time when brides were stolen from enemy tribes. To avoid the bride's family, the bride and groom hid in a secluded spot for a month - or the time of a lunar revolution. During this period, they drank mead, a honey-based drink referred to as the "honey" of the honeymoon. Honey is considered an aphrodisiac. When a newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon, tinkling tins are often placed on the car's rear bumper. This is another tradition that goes back to using noise to scare away evil spirits. In the beginning, the cans were not arrested but simply thrown. In the past, shoes were also tied behind the vehicle, which dates back to the Middle Ages. The bride's father then gave the groom his daughter's shoes, to symbolize the transfer of 'ownership'.