What is hate?


Hate, from the Latin odĭum, is the dislike and aversion towards something or someone. It is a negative feeling in which one wishes harm to the hated subject or object.

Hatred is related to enmity and repulsion. People try to avoid or destroy what they hate. In the case of hatred towards another human being, the feeling can be reflected through insults or physical aggression.

What does the Bible say about Hate?

Biblically speaking, there are positive and negative aspects to hate. It is acceptable to hate the things God hates; in fact, this is further proof of a right relationship with God. "Ye who love the LORD, hate evil" (Psalm 97:10a). In fact, the closer our walk with the Lord and the more we have fellowship with Him, the more aware we will be of sin, both within and without. Do we not mourn and burn with anger when the name of God is maligned, when we see spiritual hypocrisy and blatant unbelief and godless behavior? The more we understand the attributes and love the character of God, the more we will be like Him and the more we will hate the things that are contrary to His Word and nature.

However, negative hate certainly has to do with what is directed at other people. The Lord mentions hatred in the Sermon on the Mount: "But I say unto you, whosoever [without reason] is angry with his brother shall be subject to judgment..." (Matthew 5:22). The Lord commands that not only must we be reconciled with our brother before we go before Him, but that we must do it quickly (Matthew 5:23-26). The act of murder itself has certainly been condemned, but hatred is a sin of the "heart", and any heinous thought or act is a murder in God's eyes for which justice will be demanded, perhaps not in this life but in the day of judgment. So heinous is the position of hatred before God that a man who hates is said to be walking in darkness as opposed to light (1 John 2:9, 11). The worst situation is that of a man who continues to profess religion but remains at enmity with his brother. The Scriptures declare that such a person is a liar (1 John 4:20) and that he can even deceive men, but not God. How many believers live for years pretending on the outside that everything is fine, only to find themselves bitter for having harbored enmity (hatred) against a brother?

Hate is a poison that destroys from the inside out, producing bitterness that eats away at our hearts and minds. That is why the Scriptures tell us not to let a "root of bitterness" grow in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15). Hatred also destroys a Christian's personal testimony because it removes him from fellowship with the Lord and with other believers. Let us be careful to do what the Lord counsels and not be bitter about things small or big, and the Lord will be faithful to forgive, just as He promised (1 John 1:9, 2:1).

What makes one person hate another?

Undoubtedly, there is within each person the desire to be near or far from someone who may never have done them any harm. Just like there are people we have never met and we feel like we have been friends for a long time. Others, just seeing them makes us want to stay away from them. The first example speaks of love whose essence is union with the other. The second example reveals to us hate, whose essence is separation, wanting to be distant from the other. These two realities tell us that two sides coexist within us: love and hate.

Loving and hating is a matter of freedom. The decision for one action or another depends on each one of us. It is up to you to choose at each moment. God is no respecter of persons. In New Song, we learn a recipe for living what Jesus taught us: "Think well of everyone, speak well of everyone, love everyone" (St. John Bosco).

When you hate a person what you do?

It does not matter if you hate someone who has hurt you or who just does things that upset you, it is very difficult to let go of that feeling. If you are gnawing at your hate, try to relax, take a deep breath, and clear your head. It is okay not to like a person, but it is important to strive to be respectful and cordial, regardless of differences. Talking to that person can be helpful, as long as you can have a calm and friendly discussion. You do not need to form a friendship, but at least try to resolve the conflict and get along with each other during obligatory interactions with them.

What to do to get rid of hate?

  1. Distract yourself. If you start to gnaw at the person, try to occupy yourself. Do something to distract yourself if you cannot get the negative feeling for the other out of your mind. Go to work, listen to music, exercise, read a book, watch TV, anything!
  2. Breathe slowly and deeply when you get nervous. Try to relax and let go of harmful thoughts when you begin to feel them coming. Inhale slowly and count to ten. Hold your breath for another four seconds and release your breath for a count of ten again. Keep breathing deeply for a minute and a half, or until you get your thoughts under control.
    Visualize relaxing images as you breathe, such as a paradise beach or a comfortable place from your childhood. Imagine the negative emotions going away as you release your breath.
    It is hard to get the thought out of your head when a person hurts you. Still, taking a break to clear your thoughts can help you stay calm and break the negative thought pattern.
  3. Pray to God to clear your mind.
  4. Write a letter to express your feelings, but do not send it. Writing can help release emotions and organize thoughts. Describe what the person did or said that bothered you. Then tear or burn the letter, symbolically releasing the hate.
    Sending the letter can make the situation worse. It is better to throw it away.
    Destruction of the document will ensure that no one will find it by accident.
  5. Unburden yourself with people you trust. Talk to a relative or close friend to completely vent. The other person's fresh perspective will help you to better understand the whole situation. It is better to choose a trustworthy person who would not gossip.
    Do not let off steam in an environment where you interact with the person you hate, such as work or school. If anyone listens, the story may get back to the person in question, and you will be frowned upon for it.
  6. Ask an authority figure for help. If the person bothers you frequently, it is best to seek qualified help. We all need a safe and harassment-free environment, so if the person purposely and repeatedly bothers you, you will likely need outside support. Explain the facts of the story, tell what you did to try to resolve it, and show how it affects you. Be tactful, be clear and focus on the facts. Then ask for help.
    Bad example: "Marcos is an elitist pig and I am not going to put up with it anymore! It seems he tries to humiliate me on purpose, and he is always criticizing me in front of everyone. I need him to do something about it!"
    Good example: "I am trying to get along with Marcos, but it is not working. Usually, when I show my work, he makes a list of criticisms for the entire office to hear and leaves me feeling humiliated. Because of that, I cannot take it anymore come to work. I have never seen him do this with anyone else, and I have asked him to criticize me in private, but he refuses. I do not know how to fix this anymore and I need some help."

What to do with the person who hates you?

What can we do to avoid anger in our adversary? We know that we will never meet the other's expectations, but we can avoid feeling aversive about how we will treat and act. Always try to put yourself in the other's shoes, think about how you would like to be treated and act in the way you would like to be treated and received too!
When there is this feeling, the tip is to always seek help, talk to people who have already experienced this feeling, who have the same values ​​and who can properly help you to alleviate these impacts; another suggestion is psychological therapybut you ought to seek God's help first, which will help to distinguish this behavior and other feelings that may arise.

Remember: Hate is never free.